It is all chaotic and rargh.

I think I am just tired and need some proper time of not being in charge of children.  It is weird - when there are two parents you can be by yourself in charge for the majority of the time, but the knowing that the other one is about somewhere for support of some sort is a huge thing.  It is making a hell of a difference having someone for me but then my general parental guilt kicks in and I feel bad for wanting/needing that.  That they should be enough for me.

The normality of school can't come soon enough.  I always feel mean wishing the holidays away, but me and my children get on much better with routine and school dividing us up a bit ;)

What tomorrow is going to bring?  I don't know.  I hope that both me and the children get a good night's sleep, and we wake less touchy.  Then a few glorious hours of being a much lower % mum.  I would say of not being mum, but that is impossible, and tbh not something I would ever want.