I think it is part hormones, part cold, part empath stuff.
It started last night, which was total empath stuff, and today I have just been all over the place in a wanting to run away from my life kind of mood - even the good bits.
So, clearly to make things better and me less guilty, I fell asleep by accident, neglected my children and am ignoring a kitchen full of dishes.
Meh, if you're going to have guilt, you may as well do it right!!
Kinda want today to be over now, and to start again tomorrow. I have no idea if the Dwarf is meant to be coming, I haven't text him because I think that this mood is probably best NOT to inflict on other people.
I think I am just tired and need some proper time of not being in charge of children. It is weird - when there are two parents you can be by yourself in charge for the majority of the time, but the knowing that the other one is about somewhere for support of some sort is a huge thing. It is making a hell of a difference having someone for me but then my general parental guilt kicks in and I feel bad for wanting/needing that. That they should be enough for me.
The normality of school can't come soon enough. I always feel mean wishing the holidays away, but me and my children get on much better with routine and school dividing us up a bit ;)
What tomorrow is going to bring? I don't know. I hope that both me and the children get a good night's sleep, and we wake less touchy. Then a few glorious hours of being a much lower % mum. I would say of not being mum, but that is impossible, and tbh not something I would ever want.
For someone I have no interest in, I may possibly have missed him a teeny bit. It would have been better had my plans actually happened as then there would have been a smidge more in the way of distraction.
Damn this whole feelings seeping in thing. My moods are far too influenced by it all.
Good mood = housework being done though, so woohoo for that.
There is a possibility that my washing might dry today ~gasp~
(Stray has me on ~ instead of } for a change)
The Dwarf is back to normal, so huzzah! It has been a weird unsettled few days. Don't know what is going on with Boy's mum and I am worried, plus this long without a full night off from the children is starting to send me a leeeeeeetle bit insane, and yes, I know - many people don't get nights off from their children and I am lucky, but meh, how other people's lives work don't actually make my feelings about experiencing mine any different. What is big in my world doesn't become magically less big in my world just because someone else has bigger stuff going on. Does that make sense?
Plus I appear to have been brainwashed into tolerating phone calls, and I may possibly have noticed the lack of them.
But anyway, got to have good normal chatting last night, the kids got up nicely today, and the phone call situation should be finished soon too, so all is good. I have even done more housework.
Must go get sorted to do the pinwheel pizzas ready for when their programme finishes and they start beating each other again.